F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

WEDNESDAY'S WIN

Q.E.D. (again).

Seriously this game went just as my last post envisioned. The Yankees won for one reason: no Manny. Every time the Red Sox had men on base (Roger allowed 7 in 6 innings), Varitek, Crisp, Lugo or the egregious Drew stepped to the plate. And as bad as these guys have been overall, they're that much worse outside Fenway. Watching them hack proves just how terrible the White Sox must be.

Speaking of terrible, the big F... suddenly has all kinds of movement on his formerly flat fastball, and he still can't pitch worth a damn. Seriously, why would Torre call onhim with a three run lead in the eighth: Ramirez, another inning of Vizcaino, Bruney, all safer choices.

But as sucky as the big F...is, he did manage to prove he was not the sorriest ass player on the field. Think about it, F...head gives up a 2 run homer to Youk, putting the Sox back in the game. He's obviously rattled, so much so, he has to leave without finishing the inning. But before he does, he pitches to J.D. Drew, the 24 carat, $70,000,000 proof positive that Theo Epstein is a boy-idiot. Now Drew's lifetime batting average against F...er is something like 569, and F...er is f...ing done anyway. So this is Drew's chance to finally redeem this awful season by putting the Sox back in a game they had seemingly lost. And slow Joe is apparently too ignorant or lazy to get F...Up out of the game, as was clearly indicated. No matter, Drew is such a fucking loser, he strikes out anyway, just like he did in the 8th last night against the Hut. I'm a Phillies fan too, and I still remember when that Bible-thumping prima donna refused to play for the Phillies and made them trade him. All I can say now is thank god, he's been a bum in St. Louis, in LA and now in Boston. He's a number accumulating, perennially underachieving, always injured gagmeister. I'm surprised the Yankees didn't sign him to be Carl Pavano's alter ego.

Tomorrow the only Sox player I hate more than J(u)D(as) Drew: the Blob. Sweeping this series by destroying any residual illusion that this perpetually pontificating porker is still a big time hurler would be really sweet.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

So I'm on the mend after a little laproscopic surgery last week, and the last three games have been good medicine after the bitter pills in Detroit. Note to Yankee fans: they do actually do health care well in Boston; just keep the whole Yankee thing on the down low before they put you under, especially when, as you're being wheeled into the OR, you see a big banner on the wall saying you are in "the official hospital of the Boston Red Sox."

But I digress. I'm still not convinced this team can make the playoffs, and Joe V. hit the nail on the head about middle relief. An opposing team generally needs 3-4 runs in the first 6 innings, and to get the Yankee starters pitch count up; then, the rout is on if they can get into the bullpen in or before the 6th. but this makes things exciting, and a full on push for the wild card will hopefully help build some character for the core that will around next year.

but a few random notes about today's sweep finale:
I think torre made a mistake starting Posada and Giambi. Schilling knows how to mow down the usual suspects in the Yankee lineup when he needs to. I'd have gone against the CW and started Molina, though a rightie, and Betemit at first, just to add a little something new that Schilling hasn't seen before. of course, giambi had a couple big defensive plays, oddly enough, but still.

Speaking of which, Giambi is getting too much playing time, and his post DL burst of power seems to have fizzled. The offense was more effective and consistent when he was pinch hitting or doing more occasional starts.

Maybe it's just being here in Boston, where everything Red Sox is so fucking magnified it's stifling, but I am so sick of Yankee Red Sox games. the local and national media and red sox fans have turned the intensity up so high its basically just a 3 day state of mindless frenzy. it just gets tedious and joyless after a while. and inevitably something stupid happens, like here with Joba in the 9th, which just adds all this irrelevant layer of chatter, and can only distract the team. You have to hope it won't rattle Joba, who did look a little off his game control wise in the 8th anyway.

I like Edwar Ramirez. He seems like the type of pitcher whose going to get seriously lit up once in a while, but more often than not I think he'll be steady and effective. a change up artist who can get it up to 91 is pretty cool. If the Yankees do make the postseason, I hope the bullpen lines up like this, depth chart wise:
MO
Joba (and, he's available everday then, of course)
Vizcaino
Ramirez
Villone
Brunney
Moose/Kennedy depending on how Sept goes.

5:27 PM  

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