F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

ALPHABET SOUP

A-ROD
If you are like me, you believe the holder of the greatest single season record in sports, the home run record, remains Roger Maris, 61 in '61. Yes he had 8 more games than the Babe but he could'nt bounce them over the fence. all subsequent marks, Mcguire, Bonds, and Sosa, are testament not to the prowess of the player but to the juice of the juice. That's why I am surprised more people are not talking about the chance that the real record could fall this year. Yes, AROD would need to hit 10 in the next 17 games, but he's got a short porch at fenway, a week bullpen in Tampa and an imploding staff in Baltimore--plus toronto, whom he always hits well. Could happen, especially since there's no pressure. the Yankees march towards the playoffs is getting more secure and the public, being asses, do not recognize thee Maris record.

Dice-K(O)

By June, I was saying that while Dice-K may be good, he isn't great because he walks too many batters and he frequently blows up in the 4th or 5th inning. finally, after his last disaster, the Boston message boards are abuzz with this insight. So now we can quantify things precisely: the average Yankees fan, me in this case, is roughly 3 months smarter than your average chowderhead, who is nonetheless smarter than the sports punditry. The latter still haven't awakened to this fact: they are all obsessed with how Dice-K may have hit the wall. his problems are doubtless exaggerated by having to pitch every 5th rather than every 6th day, but the tendencies were there all along. Moreover that same sports punditry regularly yaks about how deep boston's starting pitching is. Huh1 They're like one pitcher deep, Josh Beckett. Dice-K has been melting down,, but no worse than Wakefield since his stint on the DL, and this is par for the course with him. Once his back goes out his knuckler flattens out. Lester has an ERA north of 5, and Schilling has a fastball south of 88mph. they won't start Bucholz and Taveras is just plain unreliable. If you take recent appearances by Hughes and Kennedy to heart, the Yankees starting pitching is deeper, and that's even if you discount Clemens as injured and Moose as finished (although apparnetly on 15 days rest he can pitch effectively into the 6th inning).

DJ

Perhaps mthe most impressive thing about the Yankees recent 7 game streak is how little Jeter has contributed. I don't know if that knee is really bothering him, but he has had an unusually long string of o-fers and 1-fers. On the record, one has to assume he will be back hitting soon, which could well mean the winning if not the actual streak will continue through September.

YOGI

If you haven't heard the song Deja Vu (All Over Again) by John Fogarty, you should definitely check it out. It wins my award for the best use made of this Yogi Berra malapropism.

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