F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

AFTER THE YANKEES FINALLY WON A GAME LAST NIGHT,

Slow Joe was heard to say, "Hopefully this will start something because they are certainly capable." He seem to find the Yankees competence to be soem sort of compensation for their performance instead of the aggravating factor that it is.

Well today they were back at it, relying ona competence they see no particular need to demonstrate and they went down yet again, in the ugly manner of yesterday's afternoon game, i.e. without so much as an offensive whimper. Abreu did nothing, Giambi did nothing, Matsui managed to kill two rallies with twin double play balls, Cano did almost nothing, Cabrera did nothing, even Posada did nothing. Di Salvo wasn't very good, but a stellar job by the bullpen, keyed believe it or not, by Ron Villone, kept the Yankees in the game right up to the point that the bats frittered it away altogether.

I don't know what Mattingly does as bench coach; I suspect nothing at all. Since status quo Joe only follows the most conventional wisdonn, the most hidebound orthodoxy, in every decision he makes, I don't see that he needs a whole lot of affirmation from his underlings or that he pays much heed to any dissent from that quarter. That being said, Mattingly needs to be "demoted" to a more useful post, batting instructor, at least for all those left-handed hitters I just listed, who are having terrrible years (and you can include Damon as well). Cano has gone from being Rod Carew to being Larry Bowa; Cabrera has gone from being sufficiently dangerous at the plate to warrant getting his glove and legs on the field, to being a huge offensive liability. Matsui has lost all his pop and abreu all his consistency. It's time to find out if Kevin Long is the bane I suspect him of being.

In any event, that is the last advice I will be dispensing for awhile. This team is barely worth following, hardly worth watching and definitely not worth blogging. The Yankees have elected to waste a huge amount of money on the dim possibility of a Rocket-resuscitation. I propose to waste no more of my time on this team until and unless that possibility becomes a reality somewhere down the road. It is one thing to be losing, which can be analyzed and repaired; it's another thing to be dead, which can only be dissected. Right now this team is just dead and I'm too disgusted with their fetid corpse to dissect them anymore.

2 Comments:

Blogger Zachary Lesser said...

It is one thing to be losing, which can be analyzed and repaired; it's another thing to be dead, which can only be dissected. Right now this team is just dead and I'm too disgusted with their fetid corpse to dissect them anymore.

Vintage F*&! Joe Torre blogging.

10:51 AM  
Blogger joe valente said...

Thanks. As you will see, I just can't help myself.

11:51 AM  

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