F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Friday, May 19, 2006

F*&! Joe Torre? F#%&*! Carl Pavano

Carl Pavano "needs" surgery to clean out bone chips in his elbow. Will someone tell me how this is possible? Here's a guy who never ptiches, never fucking plays, and yet continually gets hurt. First it was his back, then it was his butt, now its his elbow, all of which seems unrelated to the shoulder problems that originally sidelined him. Why is Steinbrenner, who refreshingly called out Hall of Famer Dave Winfield for failing in the clutch, who refreshingly called out torre himself for pitching Embree against right-handers, who refreshingly called out AROD for screwing up in the field, why does he remain silent on this gutless, malingering, thieving disgrace? He should heap ridicule upon him and encourage the press and the public to do likewise. He should make it clear that Pavano is not worthy to wear a Yankees uniform and encourage Yankees fans to revile him in similar terms. We should all work together to make Pavano's baseball life, such as it is, as hellish as possible. That little pain he feels in his elbow, or is it his back, or is it up his ass, should be the least of his problems. They should start producing "Like all babies, little Carl Pavano sucks" T-Shirts and selling them at the stadium. Fans should wear them and insist his teammates denounce him while signing autographs. He should get run out of town on a rail.

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