F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

The Concern is Touching

The (J)urinalists over at Red Sox Network (Crawford, Coleman, Gottleib, Ravech, Kruk, Green, Golic, Cowherd, Bayless, Ravech, Phillips and the so-called Dolly Llama) have had a field day asserting the exigency (not that that is one of the 200 or so words they know) of the Yankees making a deal to replace the productivity of Sheffield and Matsui. Please!!! To any sophisticated and knowlredgeable observer of the game, Bubba Crosby's superior fielding and baserunning skills, along with his joie de baseball and his ability to do the little things well compensates, or nearly so, for his inferiority to Matsui or Sheffield as a professional hitter. But of course many fans of baseball are not particularly sophisticated or knowledgable, and as we know the "experts" at RSN fall squarely within this less elite group. Even so, one would think anyone with even a modicum of baseball acumen (ok that lets out Ravech, Green, Golic, Crawford, Gottleib and Cowherd) would counsel the Yankees to adopt a wait and see posture for the next week, that is until Sheffield's MRI is taken. After all, shoud he return shortly thereafter, the Yankees remain a potentially awesome offensive force even without Matsui (Damon, Jeter, Giambi, Rodriguez, Sheffield, Cano). Why would you run out and get another outfielder who can't catch the ball, like Soriano, everyone's favorite candidate, when even on paper the need will all but evaporate in two weeks time. But there's more. You would think that anyone with a reasonable claim to objectivity (ok that let's out the Dolly Llama, otherwise known as Theo's suck, and John Kruk, otherwise known as Curt Schilling's only friend in the game) would counsel the Yankees to wait and see whether Cabrera proves to be the big league hitter he has given recent promise of being. Cabrera is hitting 444 since coming up from AAA, where he was leading the league at 385. Maybe in a couple weeks he'll be down at Andy Phillip's level, but they owe it to him and themselves to play him till he fails, especially since they haven't let massive failure stand in the way of Phillip's playing time. I personally believe Cabrera can hit 290-310 in this league. He certainly looks better than Juan Rivera ever did and the Yankees started him in the playoffs. In any event, the proper trial period for Melky neatly coincides with the likely duration of Sheffield's stay on the DL, so what do the Yankees have to lose by patience?

These same media Sox-sniffers have spent much verbiage criticizing the Yankees, not without cause, for their inorganic method of player development: their over reliance on the free agent market, their addiction to the elderly, the high priced, and the glamorous etc. But at the first whiff of crisis, they are busy insisting that Cashman proceed in the same old dubious manner. Even when Cashman declares--with what sincerity I couldn't say-- that he would rather eschew an acquisition at this time, the wankers at RSN presume and prescribe that the Yankees must solve the situation by opening their exhausted farm system and their inexhaustible checkbook, despite the self-evident presence of young homegrown talent ready and able to step into the breach. Beyond the aggregate dullness of these wankers, which could furnish all the material a poem like Pope's Dunciad would ever need, their reaction to Matsui's contretemps bespeaks a deep-seated bias: a desire--which passes into a recommendation--that the Yankees organization enact the caricature of itself, so that they, the everlasting caricatures of the journalistic profession, can justify their ill-concealed attachment to the Red Sox as some sort of baseball purism.

I expect you all were wondering why I did not lead with the simple fact that the Yankees won again today. Consider it mimetic satire. Not once have I heard on Red Sox Network that for all their phoney handwringing, the Yankees are 2-0 since going down 2 starting outfielders, or that the scores of the games might indicate the mid-course correction the Yankees should execute, or even how despite their "devastation " and "decimation," they have not only gone up a game in the loss column on their more "solid" rivals, but now stand only a game and a half (one in the loss column) behind everyone's idea (my own included) of the best team in baseball, Chicago.

In response to an earlier post criticizing the Yankees squishy complacency, BGW pointed out that it was not only a softness but a sourness, beginning with the terminally morose Mr. Torre that seemed to plague the Yankees. He was right of course. But if they would just play Crosby, Cabrera and Cano, who are still playing the dream, along with Jeter and Giambi, who never lost that sense, they would not only see some of the fun come back into the game, they would see it become contagious, allowing Damon to recover the joy he seems to have left in Fenway and even bring the always chameleonic AROD along for the ride. But if ther Yanks are to be a fun team, a team that has fun and is fun to watch, which is another way of saying if they are to be fully Jeter's team again, then Bernie Williams, who cannot enjoy displaying his own obsolescence, must take a seat, and Sheffield, who seems to live, play and excel in the expectation of still greater embitterment, must be relegated to the DH, which would make him happy, or rather satisfied, anyway.

1 Comments:

Blogger joe valente said...

My feeling is that hunter is far and away the best of the bruited candidates, primarily because of the defense he brings. I do think he swings at too many bad pitches and is not as dependable a hitter as either Crosby or Cabrera would be if they played daily.

As for Soriano, he'd be an improvement on Bernie, but I can't say I'd be happy about the general ethos he brings to the club. He's always been a sloppy player, never saw a fundamental he liked, and his on base percentage is still pretty low, 320, for someone whose supposed to be an offensive threat. I couldn't find his strikeout statistics, but I imagine he's still too free a swinger. The Yankees have to be a patient team to be successful, I think.

You are dead right Brian on the question of AROD and Giambi. Two thumpers doing their job can really make a contact team go. Giambi walks too much for someone so slow. He maintains really gaudy statistics, but he's only good for one big hit in his good games. As for AROD..well if he got hot he could carry them till Sheffield gets back.

As for Weaver of Yankee vintage--meet the new Jeff, same as the old Jeff. Now he's a bum somewhere else. As for Chacon, he is a really good pitcher, against weak hitting teams. Otherwise he doesn't trust his stuff (maybe he knows something).

5:10 PM  

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