F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

CONGRATULATIONS!

to Ken Griffey Jr. He passed Big Mac (supersteroidize me) on the all time home run list and he is almost certain to become the sixth player in MLB history to reach 600 homers and only the fourth to do so without the benefit of cheatjuice. That he did so in the steroid era, when many of the pitchers were juicing as well, only magnifies his accomplishment. With all the talk of Mac-Android, Barry the Bloat and, more recently, of (Honey, I Shrunk the Sammy) Sosa, I had forgotten--and I suspect others have as well--that Griffey always was and still remains the greatest slugger of his generation, indeed the greatest slugger since Aaron, Mays and Robbie hung em up. Considering all the injuries, he is managing to combine the margin of unfulfilled promise we associate with Mickey Mantle with the relentless home run production we associate with Aaron. That he did so clean in a dirty, dirty fucking era, that he did so while playing a truly spectacular center field--in his prime he was the second coming of Willie--that he did so, again in his prime, with a flair and a grace that Dimaggio himself would have envied (were he less profoundly narcissistic) make him the kind of player I count myself lucky to have seen. The pundocracy now routinely assures themselves they are giving him his props by pointing out that he's a certain hall of famer. Shit, Eddie Murray, Bruce Sutter, Robin Yount, Kirby Puckett, Dennis Eckersley are all of Hall of Famers, proving how debased that currency has become. Ken Griffey is an All-Timer,--greater than Sosa, Mcguire and even, in the end, Bonds. Congratulations Junior. I hope with this milestone and the 600th bomb to come, you finally get the credit you are due.

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