F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

RJ Agonistes

There is talk of Randy Johnson retiring, thanks to a series of performances that make it evident that he is no longer the Johnson of old, or even the Johnson of last year. Although a chowderphile, if not a chowderhead, Skip Bayless put it pretty well I thought: Johnson can dominate every 3rd or 4th start but otherwise he's shawn Chacon, pretty good but not very good. When Johnson is not dominating, and I think Bayless's percentages are pretty close, I would submit that he is not as good as shawn chacon, not by long chalks. However, every 3rd or 4th start a gem is a formula for success on the Yankees, given their offense, provided the dominating performances come in the right spots. The Yanks need four things from Johnson for his contribution to be accounted successful.

1. He has to take the ball every fifth day, no questions, no exceptions.
2. He has to eat innings. roughly 7 per start
3. He has to pitch well enough to win most games, which doesn't mean he has to pitch well.
4. He has got to dominate in starts against quality teams, or at least teams with quality pitching.

If he does these 4 things, all four, then and only then he will be a success, and his era can be 5.50 or higher. It won't matter. So far he has shown he can do one through three. Tonight would be a good time to start working on number 4.

But not, I think, a crucial time. It is actually more important that the Yankees' bats show up and assert themselves against Beckett tonight. His ERA over the last 3 games is 9.65. The most important thing tonight is to continue that trend, to convince him and the chowderheads that he is a bum after all.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh... so much for that. 7 runs in 3.2 IP. Nice work if you can get it.

8:59 PM  

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