How Bad Is Err-ROD, Let Me Count the Ways

The condescending pundits who have been tsk-tsking Yankess fans for their disgust with the 25 million dollar bust have been hiding behind the ambiguity which attends the word clutch. Recognizing Err-Rod's reputation for failing when it counts, they sometimes interrupt the game with irritating know-it all questions like, well does this count, does this count as clutch, only to fall silent when Err-Rod pops out to the first baseman in foul territory. I propose to demystify things a bit by stting aside the question of clutchness altogether. Let us call every at bat and every play in the field equal just for those smarty pants who are too stupid to grasp things otherwise. Where does the highest paid player in the history of the game, adjusted for inflation mind you, where does he stand among the leaders in the various categories that define excellence in his profession. Batting average, well Jeter is among the leaders but not Err-ROD; hits, well Jeter is among the leaders, but not Err-rod; Homers, well Giambi is among the leaders but not Err-Rod; RBI's, well Giambi's among the leaders, but not Err-rod; slugging %, well there's Giambi again but not Err-rod; stolen bases, well there's Jeter again, but not Err-Rod. Do you mean to tell me that we are almost halfway through June and Err-rod hasn't bobbed into the leaders in any category other than salary, where he reigns supreme. Oh, I'm sorry I forgot to cite the one category where he bestrides the league like a collossus. That would be errors committed, which is why we call him Err-rod.

Don't give me this crap about expectations. AROD has just plain sucked, by any reasonable standard for a player who is supposed to be and paid to be good, let alone great. Stop condescending to us all you would be journalists. I know he doesn't treat you like Albert Belle, Steve Carlton or Barry Bonds did, which is to say as you deserve, but that doesn't mean he's earning his money or our respect.