F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Split Decision

A win is always heartening especially when you're on a slide, but tonight was made better by the performance of Wang. I don't mean his line so much, though that was impressive, but that he challenged hitters when he got into difficulty, instead of trying to make them bite on bad pitches that result in walks. At 7-2 with a 4.15 ERA, he is developing into a pretty good number 2 starter, despite his sporadic timidity. He's better than most teams have in that slot anyway.

On the other hand, the offense was dreadful, and I don't just mean the line score. As the previous posts indicate they took an opher with runners in scoring position, and won the game courtsy of a solo home run, hardly an auspicious sign for the future.

It has become impossible for this offense to function with either Jeter or Giambi out of the lineup as one or the other has been for the past week. That is not only owing to the absence of you know who, but the complete meltdown of Err-rod. After an 0-4 tonight, with three strikeouts, his average has sunk into to 270's. I think we may be looking at an etremely high-priced position player equivalent of the legendary Yankee feeb Doyle Alexander. You know, Cashman should be able to get alot for this guy if he'd just eat most of the salary the Rangers aren't already digesting. Time to trade? He can go back to playing SS and the Yankees can go back to relying on their stars.

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"opher"--is that how it's spelled? interesting. I would have gone with "0-fer"; certainly not "oh-for" or "0-for."

An important baseball question, no doubt.

10:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're a literature professor and you can't spell simple words like 'manager' or 'courtesy'? Perhaps they are simple typos and that would be excusable, but your utter lack of knowledge about baseball is not.

12:31 PM  
Blogger joe valente said...

Only a complete moron would even assume they were misspellings rather than typos. So when it comes to the comment about about my baseball knowledge, I'll consider the source, especially since you lack the intellectual wherewithal or stamina to deal in specifics.

12:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a good thing Torre is still the manager instead of some reactionary knee-jerk idiot fan like yourself, or else the Yankees would be firmly entrenched in last place. Oh, and your little nicknames are SO cute. Err-Rod? How clever!

12:57 PM  
Blogger joe valente said...

Actually, it is pretty clever, and it is my experience that it is usually people without any capacity for verbal cleverness who are most offended by it. Perhaps that would be you Rob.

As for me being "reactionary," allow me to suggest, in my office as literature professor, that you are probably misusing that word. Reactive would have been the better choice. In attempting to write beyond the limits of your vocabulary, so as to impress me, you have inadvertently disclosed those limits in a rather embarrassing fashion.

As for knee-jerk idiot well, you are of course entitled to your benighted opinion, this being America and all, but in the face of evidence of Torre's managerial missteps, amassed over the course of the season, you counter with what, exactly, conventional wisdom? inarticualte loyalty? ("it's a good thing"--now that's clever). You are like the worst kind of literature student, those who combine a painful lack of acuity with a dogged unwillingness to learn. They typically spend their time in the back of the room grumbling--a grumbling, it occurs to me, of which your "comments" are the blogosphere equivalent. The most productive path, I and my real students have discovered, is to ignore these spaceeaters entirely. So feel free to continue reading my blog (and thanks for that by the way) and registering comments if you see fit. But unless you choose to raise substantive points, whether to dissent, agree, or propose a new line of analysis, and unless you do so in a far more civil tone than you introduced in your first comment, then comments will go unread and unanswered (at least by me).

1:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Arod+cash+duncan for Chavez and Zito

Arod+cash+prospect for Ensberg and Oswalt (ok its just a dream)

Trade ASSROD THE CHOKEFRAUD

1:33 PM  
Blogger joe valente said...

Torre's blind spot with respect to Crosby continues to mystify. Even putting the most sanguine construction on Thompson's hitting promise, his superiority to Crosby is marginal, while Crosby's superiority to Thompson as a baserunner, fielder, throwing arm etc. is decisive.

1:37 PM  
Blogger joe valente said...

I'm not sure Oakland would take AROD even if the Yankees swallowed much of the salary, and yeah that Ensburg-Oswalt thing does seem unlikely. I'm wondering about the Angels. They have pitching and they need the regular season "big bat" that AROD used to be.

1:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you honestly think that is clever I have nothing more to say. Good luck tilting at windmills.

1:56 PM  
Blogger joe valente said...

Well you never really had anything to say in the first place, now did you? And you last words are a cliche. Perfect.

2:26 PM  

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