F*&! Joe Torre: AROD II

F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

AROD II

We fans boo AROD for his failures under pressure. And in booing him, we engender just that sort of pressure in every game, at every at bat, which is why he has melted down. But because AROD is too great a talent to fail in perpetuity, he will in time produce under the pressure our carping has applied. And so the fans will have made him the clutch performer he could not become on his own. They will do so out of devotion to the team, to whose success they joyfully sacrifice the psychic comfort of the superstar. and when this comes to pass, the jock-apologists will claim the credit instead of going off, as they should, and fucking themselves.

3 Comments:

Jess Nevins said...: It's nice that you can have it both ways: if you boo and he fails under pressure, well, he wasn't made of the stuff that NYC demands. If he succeeds because of (or despite) the pressure, it's the fan's doing.

Cute.; 7:09 AM
joe valente said...: If you bothered reading this blog, you would know that I don't have it both ways. I've never ascribed AROD's failures to being in NYC. He was a choke artist in Seattle, and I have said as much. So I'm not being "cute" so much as you are being uninformed.; 11:59 AM
joe valente said...: You know it's amazing that noone seems to remember George's Mr. May comment about Dave Winfield when they invoke AROD's player of the month for May award.

Sitting here in Phila., I can tell you the idea of trading for Abreu is even worse than you imagine. On a team full of underachievers and slackers, Abreu is the poster boy for listless play. you think Yankees fans are hard on AROD? They would chew this guy up.; 12:12 PM