F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Monday, August 21, 2006

I'd Like TO Mark This Auspicious Occasion

by conceding to Chris and BGW that AROd's performance last night justified all of the skepticism with which they greeted my recently optimistic and evidently naive comments about his progress toward the exalted state known as being a Yankee. He had 2 of the worst at bats I've seen from him or any other legitimate hitting star: the pop out with one out and runners at the corners, with the Yanks down 4-3, and the strikeout in the 10th after the Giambi homerun and before Cano Got on for Posada to finish things. On the second one he didn't even looking like a big league hitter looking to drive the ball; he looked like a baseball model looking to make sure that the finish of his swing showed off the latest uniform fashion to best effect. He is just too often a handicap to be shouldered and shrugged off rather than a contributor to let alone an engine of success. And for all those pundits, who continue, in BGW's words to treat Yankee fans as besotted rabble for loving Jeter and loathing AROD, ask yourslef this question: bottom of the ninth, down 5-4, two outs, runner on third, Jonathan Papelbon and his 089 ERA throwing 99 MPH cheese at the top of the zone, well, what would AROD do? Muscle one into right to drive in the tying run and continue the massacre? Yeah, right.

I'm going to go watch the finale now, but before going I want to take notice amidst all of the heroism in last night's game (including the monstrous effort of Giambi, whi just out Poppi'd Poppi) of one of the truly great AB's without which we might well not be celebrating a victory. The only person to hit Papelbon's splitter was not G on the sac fly, not Jeter on the game tying hit--they both got fasballs--it was fucking Melky Cabrera on the double to lead-off the ninth inning, which was just raked. I love this kid, who is already more of a "true Yankee" than AROD is. He plays with joy, he plays clutch, he plays beyond himself at key moments. Look at Jeter at 21, in 1995, look at Melky now. That's all I'm saying.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

And how biased were those ESPN announcers last night?

After the Ortiz HR and any Papelbon out they screamed out in orgasm, but they barely made a note of Posada's HR or any of Mo's outs.

It was 1000 times worse than NESN.


You should have posted up our batting lineup today, it's almost like we're letting Boston win, but right now we're up 1-0.

2:04 PM  
Blogger joe valente said...

I'm sure you're right. I watched last night's game in a bar with my only chowderhead friend (obviously a great guy to overcome such a profound failing), so I wasn't focused too much on the announcers. We were kind of providing our own commentary.

4:06 PM  

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