F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Monday, May 28, 2007

OK SO THIS IS CLASSIC

Down 3-0 in the bottom of the seventh and Joe yanks Vizcaino who did well and puts in Villone. Fair enough. villone gets the bottom of the order out and then gives up consecutive singles to Rios and Overbay. Shouldn't we think about yanking him while we've still got a game. Joe doesn't and Villone throws a wild pitch, runners on 2nd and 3rd, no DP in order. So joe has him inentionally walk Wells. Here's where it gets good. Glaus comes up. he's hitting 271, except against lefties (like Villone), he's hitting 458! His OBP against lefties is 552! He's got the bases loaded and he's historically shown a better than even chance of getting on base and so driving in a run. So of course Joe finally comes and gets Villone to put in a right hander. Except he doesn't! He doesn't bring in Bruney or Procter or the big F..... he leaves Villone out there and Glaus singles to center. It's 4-0 and Troy's stats against lefties are even gaudier thanks to no-mo Joe. Please all of you fuckwad pundits out there from little Buster Brown Olney to Fat Fuck Kruck. Do not tell me this man any longer knows how to manage a game.

Oh dear, while I was blogging Joe left Villone in to pitch to another right-hander, Frank Thomas, who Villone promptly walked to deliver another run for the Jays. Finally Joe takes him out, bases still loaded folks, to bring in the single biggest clod in the entire bullpen, Mik fucking Meyers, who proceeds to give up, immediately, a 2 run single to some guy I've never heard of. And it's 7-o. If you are watching this debacle George, will you please, please fire Joe, fire Guidry, fire Kevin Long, fire Mattingly fire Cashman, and send half of these veterans down to AA, where they will have to ride buses. Please.

Well, I spoke too soon. With the seven run lead they've left McGowan out there to pitch the 8th. He just got Skanky-Manky the almost Yankee to ground out. Oh Jeez, Damon just whiffed. Did I mention this nobody starter has seven strikeouts? Well Jeter just got his second hit of the game to raise his average to 355. Too bad nobody else on this team bothers to show up. And I would venture to say at this point, at the risk of rank heresy, that as great a player as Jeter is, maybe he's not such a great captain. The best captain the Yankees ever had was Billy Martin in the 1950's when they went something like 7 for the decade in World Championships. I think at this point Billy would have been well beyond getting in their grill and would have moved on to punching their lights out. I think we need some such aggression (short of physical violence) out of Jeter.

Well, they left McGowan in too long. Matsui just broke up the shutout with a homer. Let's see what AROD can do. He can ground out to shortstop, ending the inning and the Yankees' meager chances. Anyone care to wager on this guy's batting average by the end of June? I'm thinking 280.

As we head into the 9th, this game is over and so is this post.

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