F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Bad News, as Wins Go

Another stellar performance from Mussina, who seems to have had a full blown resurrection form the whining nibbler we saw last year. But the real news, and it wasn't good, was Aaron Small. He simply doesn't have the stuff to come in with men on base. He's a bend don't break pitcher and if you bend it ahead of time, he'll get killed. If Torre keeps him in the bullpen much longer, he'll be sending him back to Columbus soon after.

The bad news is there looks like there's no chance Torre will let Small start. Word is that once Pavano comes back (OK, I know that will probably never happen), but on the off chance that it does, Slow Joe intends to run an audition with Chacon and Wrong Stuff Wright to see who gets the fifth starting job. Not only will Small be left out in the cold, but there's a chance Chacon will as well, and after Mussina, he's the second best starter on the team. Torre ought to make Johnson and his exorbitant ERA audition or Wang and his consistent inconsistency. But the one person who should have no shot is Wright, whose at his best when he's hurt and unable to pitch, which fortunately is pretty often. Oh, but that's the really ridiculous part: whoever loses the audition, the Yankees plan to trade. Now given the fragility of their starters, you'd think that the Yankees would just retain them all just to be safe. Did they learn nothing from boy-Epstein's "genius" trade of Arroyo? What really worries me though, is that if Wrong Stuff hasn't already lost this competition by, you know, stinking out Yankee Stadium for the last two years, I don't see how he ever could. And while trading him would be, well, impossible, cause no other team's stupid enough to want him, trading Chacon would be a tragedy. If it happens, I predict right now, they don't make the playoffs. If for reasons involving Torre's brain lesions, they remove Chacon from the rotation, why not put him in the bullpen, where he has been effective in the past. With the performance of not only Small but Rivera tonight, it's clear they could use the help.

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