F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

So That's It II

We now know the slender talents still possessed by two of our favorite whipping boys. Jared (Wrong Stuff) Wright can still pitch--against the Rays. Bernie Williams can still hit--lefthanders who don't throw too hard. Still a nice victory, coming from behind on the road to win a close game. And look at what that bullpen can do when the names Sturtze and Proctor go uncalled. The Yankees did manage to hit into three double plays, which is hard to do unless you happen to be them.

Meanwhile Pavano threw 58 pitches in a game in Florida, allowing 1 unearned run and getting his fastball into the low 90's. Was his velocity ever higher than that? Still they don't plan to put him back in the rotation until June! Here again Steinbrenner should be screaming bloody murder. He's paying this guy huge bucks to work on his tan in Florida. He's obviously ready to go but Torre, the old nursemaid won't let him. Sheffield has pronounced himself ready to return, but "Mother" Torre won't let him either. What the hell is this about. Someone ought to remind Joe he's their manager not their therapist. He's supposed to get them to play through pain, not rest after relief.

I was watching the Bosox last night and was struck by the fact that even with their entire infield and almost their entire bullpeb=n replace, with %40 of their rotation new and two new centerfielders, they remain the exact same team! They are still the best grinders in the business, with Lowell giving up on being the power hitter he was years ago to channel Bill Mueller, and they still have a shitty bullpen, with Foulke, Taveras, Seanez all terrible and Timlin far more limited than he used to be. Papelbon has been hot, but watching him in juxtaposition to B.J. Ryan illuminates how straight his hard stuff is, how little movement it has in the strike zone. If people start laying off his off the corner pitches, like the Jays did last night, they will discover he's no Goose Gossage.

The biggest upgrade on the Sox was supposed to be the rotation, but with Wells giving them zero wins this year instead of last year's 15; with Beckett making up for, but not really surpassing Arroyo, with Clement already looking like the September model of last year, I don't really see it. Their defense is much better, particularly in the infield, but this remains a team that must outslug you to win on most nights and, while still asgodd and determined they are not quite the offensive force of the past few years.
All in all that boy genius stuff about Epstein seems a little hyped. the trade of Arroyo has to be one of the worst in memory. With his age and stuff, he could have been the Sox no. 2 for the next 15 years.

Finally, I think we've seen the last of Jason Varitek as an all-star catcher. He's 33-34, the age when most catchers start to fade (Posada certainly has) and his body has shrunken somewhere between 15 and 20%, indicating that he's been juicing all these years. His bat has lost the pop that comes with the juice as well. Couldn't happen to a bigger asshole. Well except for Barry Bonds, of course, but at least he plays for a cool franchise.

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