F*&! Joe Torre: The Question

F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Monday, May 29, 2006

The Question

Has Randy Johnson become too old to pitch effectively in the big leagues or will he round into form with the warmer whether? That for Yankee fans has been the question. The answer, I fear, is both. He is too old to perform normally until the sun warms his various parts and bestirs them into functionality. I have often noticed the same dynamic with small reptiles and aging parents. If I'm right, the win today in Detroit bodes well for the remainder of the season and quite poorly should they reach the playoffs, when the October chill will tell Randy's body it's time to hibernate.

1 Comments:

joe valente said...: I don't know the answer to either question, though Villone's stuff sure looks real to me when I see him pitch.

As for Farnsworth, maybe you can't make him challenge hitters but you can make him throw the fastball and nothing but the fastball when the situation warrants.; 6:07 PM