F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Zero for Fifteen

That's what Yankees not named Derek Jeter were with runners in scoring position last night, as the Yankees suffered perhaps their most inexcusable loss of the season. I swear its getting harder and harder to watch this team without hurling objects, or even one's half-digested dinner, at the television screen. They had runners in scoring position in 8 innings last night and only scored on Jeter's singl and Giambi's sac fly. It was the single worst display of clutch, situational hitting I have ever seen.

What is worse, the Yankees seemed to feel pretty good about themselves immediately after defiling their reputation further. Torre stated "We had them on the ropes all night" and AROD seconded, "we could have broken the game open a number of times," as if this patent fact ameliorated things instead of aggravating them (and Yanks fans everywhere). The Yankees also manged to hit into three double plays.

The worst offender was of course none other than AROD hinself, whose name has become a virtual synonym for pressure-induced aphyxiation. With the Yanks up 2-0 and looking to blow the game open, AROD left the bases loaded. But the worst was yet to come. In the eighth down 4-2, the Yanks load the bases with noone out. After all the blown chances, one last golden opportunity to take the series. After Giambi's sac fly (4-3), Damon and Jeter are on second and first for Arod who hits the ball weakly toward short for an inglorious double play that killed the rally and, for all intents and purposes, their hopes. Of course if Joe had any brains, guts or insight, he would have executed the double steal, knowing the Mets would never have looked for it. They would have assumed, correctly as it turned out, that Joe wouldn't want to take the bat out of AROD's hands. But in fact he is just about the last person a Yankees fan wants to see up in the clutch. Let the Mets walk him and pitch to Cano; I like the Yanks's chances much better then. The inning before, Joe Morgan, whose only virtue as a television commentator is that he wears nice suits, declared that all "good" Yankees fans were glad to have AROD. As Z pointed out, it is unclear in what register Joe was usuing the term "good," but I know this, you have to be positively saintly to tolerate the way the $25, ooo, ooo man collapses under pressure. For the time he has been with the Yankees, he has been at best a frustration. But he's fast becoming a joke, rather like the pundit Morgan himself.

Speaking of the gutlessness of Torre, which he tries to pass off as serene judiciousness, when you are down to your 9th inning last chance in the game, and you've got someone in scoring position (again), you have to let Posada bat for Stinnett, whose futility as a hitter came to a crescendo last night. You can't worry that Posada can't throw runner out in the bottom of the ninth--you've got to get to the bottom of the ninth, and hope noone gets on. Do something a little bold for once, Joe. As long as your satisfied with status quo managing, the players will be satisfied with the status quo performance--which at the moment means blowing games they should win. On Saturday, the Mets gave the Yankees the game, so they won. On Sunday the Mets merely gave the Yankees every fucking oppurtunity to win the game, and they couldn't.

Even for the homer-happy Yankees of a month ago, this loss would have been unbelievable. And that is because they had Matsui. This is the kind of game, and there have been a number of them, where the Yanks do their level best to go in the tank and Matsui just won't let them. He would not have let them lose this game, this way. And speaking of the absence of Matsui (and Sheffield), it should be noted that Jeter, aware that more of the offense falls on his shoulders, is hitting above and beyond even his own considerable capacities. AROD, meanwhile, has responded to his added responsibility by becoming even more of a head case (8 errors), even more of a choke artist (230 something with men in scoring position) than he already was. He's his own private version of Gulliver's Travels--when it means little he's a Brobdignag; when the heat is on he turns into a Lilliputian. Now that Matsui and Sheffield are out, the heat is almost always on so he just gets smaller and smaller.

1 Comments:

Blogger joe valente said...

I don't disagree with you about Giambi, but I think it is at least partly Torre's fault. He should have had Giambi bunting that shift out of existence from the very start of the season. Giambi would be coming through, in my opinion, 10-15 percent more often if they forced the ss and 3bman to play their positions.

As for Torre's job after the Yankees get swept--no chance, everyone who counts and all the emdia types will just blame it on the injuries and the famous "lack of pitching." Oddly noone at ESPN seems to have caught on to how bad an offensive club the Yankees have become. They are all blinded by lifetime statistics. The statistic in tonight's post, that AROD has the 3rd worst average in the majors with 2 outs and RISP, seems to me far more significant. Frankly, I doubt Giambi's average under those circumstances is much better.

11:56 PM  

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