F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

No, Just Incomprehensible

Here is one more reason, perhaps the most compelling, that this move makes no sense whatsoever and should drive every thinking Yankee fan fucking crazy with the obtuseness this organization can display. On Tuesday, Robinson Cano is set to come back, returning Cairo to his role as infield utility man. Nick Greene will at that point have lost his function and could be optioned to Columbus with no conceivable loss to the team, as he, unlike Bubba, could always be brought back. If the Yankees simply must have Veras on the big team, for reasons passing understanding, surely they could wait until Tuesday for his grand arrival and thus hold onto one of the few reliable defensive factors on the team. Once you think about the implications of Cano's return, you just can't beat this move for inexplicable, uncompensated stupidity. Sometimes all the luck in the world can't indemnify you against your own reflexive self-destructiveness. Such is the relation of the post-dynasty Yankees to the dimensions of baseball beyond hitting and pitching, i.e. baserunning and defense. Joe never thinks, when he thinks as all, I "need another glove," I "need another pair of legs." When you bring up a Veras in preference to bubba, when you keep a Greene in preference to Bubba, when you keep a Beam in preference to Bubba, when you imagine Williams as a baserunner or a defensive replacement in preference, don't come talking to me, Joe-Bullshit, about your committment to small ball. That committment, which won you a most unlikely championshipo in 1996, is as distant a memory as the one George is currently having about today's breakfast.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That committment, which won you a most unlikely championshipo in 1996, is as distant a memory as the one George is currently having about today's breakfast.

Hilarious.

11:36 PM  

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