F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Now Things are Getting Interesting

I was going to send my first big off season post around the time of the D-Mat bidding, but things happened so fast that everything I wanted to say needed revision in light of new events. But now the intrigue thickens.

First came the relief that they had gotten rid of Sheffield. Did you know his post season stats with the Yanks were every bit as dismal as AROD's, but he never got the heat because he did carry them that 1 regular season. As usual with Sheff, however, his ego ultimately wore out its welcome, and I was so glad to see him depart in favor of three young pitchers, each of whom might well have viable big league careers. I know one reason Cash wanted Sanchez was so that he didn't have to bring up Hughes this year, which is a little disappointing, but the kid is only 20 and discretion is probably the better part of impatience in this situation.

I had really banked on getting D-Mat. I mean it was only money and after all who spends more willingly to win than the Yanks. The original report of the Sox going 38-42 mill blew me away, and the thing that struck me most at that point was the lack of any outrage in the baseball community over excessive spending. If the Yankees had posted that number, I thought, every Yahoo pundit on-line would be trying to whip up the fans of small town baseball into a frenzy about how King George and the empire were ruining the game for all of us. But since it was Boston-- the big town, big market, big payroll surrogate for little league baseball--all was well in dunceville, otherwise known as ESPN. When the real number was disclosed however the commentary about Boston being New York North finally emerged, first from Sean McAdam, a big Boston pussface, and then from some Yankee pundits. The tenor of these pieces--I think it was the 50m mark being exceeded--was that Boston couldn't cry poor mouth anymore. These people had obviously never read Flann O'Brien. In any event, Boston fans came out of the woodwork, like true Irishmen, honorary or otherwise, to insist that they still held the high moral ground of comparative penury, or at least penuriousness. The big bad Yankees were still the biggest baddest spenders, and the mere investment of a sum larger than many teams' entire payroll just to chat with D-Mat couldn't change that. Many Yankee fans on the other hand, smelling the hypocrisy as thick as chowder gone bad, insisted that no, no it turns out the Sox are just as venal and immoral as New York's finest (the team not the cops, though with that damn Giuliani around it sometimes hard to separate them).
In any event, I look at things differently. Unless clowns like John Henry or King George (who now appears to share the mental affliction of his British namesake) are busy plowing their enormous profits into St. Jude's hospital for childhood cancer (a most worthy charity; I recommend subscribing) then they should be putting them back into the team and giving their fans the winner that they are in fact paying for. It's the only moral thing to do. If you want baseball immorality, check out the devil Rays ownership, who invest less in payroll than they receive in revenue sharing--now that's villainy! As for the Sox ridiculous largess to Japanese baseball, I say congratulations for doing the right thing for the first time since you signed Manny and welcome to the party. I'm sure your fans appreciate it.

Of course, many people were suspicious that the Sox were just trying to block the Yanks from acquiring D-Mat. Indeed, if you read the internet for weeks after the posting, you would have continued to believe that the Sox investment was in part justified by their frustration of the Yankees, even though it was the Mets who posted the 2nd highest bid and so the Mets, and the Mets alone, who were denied by the Sox. Other pundits, a little more insightful, noted that the Sox wished to crack the Far Eastern market, as the Yanks had already done with Wang and Matsui, and that while the posting was high, the salary offered D-MAt could be comparatively low, since he didn't want to return to Japan anyway and no other American teams could vie for his services. When Scott Boreass made it clear he expected 15 mill per year for his client, a figure that could push the whole deal up to about 140m for 6 years, the pundits speculated that the Sox might get some relief, something like a rebate, from the Lions, with whom sleazy Larry Lucchino was supposedly cultivating a "special relationship." (which with Lucchino could only be that of a vampire to its host). I wondered about that since it seemed like such an arrangement would have the effect of vitiating the fairness of the bidding process. I mean if you could get rebates from the selling team, you could bid anything you liked, billions even, since most could then be returned. Sure enough the commissioners office stepped in today to assure everyone that no such dealings would be allowed. You sign the player you forfeit the full posting fee; you keep the fee, the player goes back to Japan. That simple.

And so enter Igawa, an accomplished 27 year old strikeout specialist with a sub 3.00 ERA last year. Set up for posting while the D-Mat competition was still being sorted out, he is now the virtual property of the Yankees, thanks to a posting fee about half of D-Mat's. His agent is Matsui's agent, so the likelihood of signing him seems high. He is lefthanded, so he fits the needs of a team whose ace left-hander sucked sushi even before he went in for back surgery. But most interesting is what Igawa means for the Sox negotiations with D-Mat. The Yanks can afford to wait 2 weeks past the D-Mat deadline to sign Igawa and in the process they give Boreass great leverage for getting his client a killer deal. D-Mat may not want to go back to Japan, but he can hold out for the big bucks (the Sox began at a measly 7 mil) because he, and more importantly Boras, know that if the Sox did let him go back to Japan, while the Yankees signed Igawa and, doubtless, promised to make a big push for D-Mat the following year, the Sox would be deader in Far Eastern baseball and for a longer time than Michael Richards' career. By getting the post on Igawa, the Yanks force the Sox to break the bank for D-Mat, which also means that they'll have to give up Manny, which they seem inclined to do anyway. If Manny goes, Ortiz's numbers go significantly south, and tyhey better hope D-Mat is the second coming of Sandy Koufax, cause I don't see them scoring a whole lot of runs for him, the fat man, or Josh (still Waiting for) Beckett.