F*&! Joe Torre

Since Joe Torre breaks our hearts, this blog will break his balls. Every day of the season I will detail the errors, misjudgements, and omissions that make him the most overrated manger in the history of the game (even more than Tommy Lasorda!). But Joe Torre is not just one bum in hero's clothing (i.e. the pinstripes); he is the quintessential counterfeit of excellence, a figure who embodies the triumph of the ersatz that pervades every aspect of our culture. No organization in sport, nay in civilization generally, has manifested a committment to continuing greatness like the New York Yankees, a beacon to all, in every field of endeavor, that the best is always possible. How intolerable is it then that the Yankees should be managed by a mediocrity on stilts, a figure with a reputation for greatness without any of the attributes thereof. Beginning with Torre and ending with Torre, this blog will look to smash idols we create out of inadvertence, ignorance, and complacency.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

A Playoff Analogy

Jeter is to impressive as Torre is to imbecilic.

I don't think I have ever seen a better played game than Jeter turned in tonight. 5-5, 10 total bases, great baserunning to make sure of the 2 doubles, starting that crucial and by no means routine DP in the third. Sublime.

By the same token, I have never seen a manager screw up so badly in a playoff win before. Wang struck out the big man, Ordonnez, to end a very rocky fifth then cruised through the sixth and the first 2 outs in the seventh when, with only 90+ pitches under his belt, our best starter turns around to find out that for no conceivable reason at all, the moron who gets so much credit for this team's success is taking him out of the game. What is more, he is taking him out for a pitcher who has no business even being on the playoff roster. A pitcher that every hitter in the league, lefty and righty can hit, except David Ortiz, for nuerological reaons not fully understood by team physicians. A pitcher who single handedly lost the season finale against the red sox. yes, I give you, or rather Torre gives you,Mike Meyers. I'd rather see Garth out there pitching.

Now to get to basics. Torre has, with the exception of Rivera, a bullpen whose mediocrity is only exceeded by its exhaustion. It is, as everyone knows, the salient weakness on this team. As a result, you should not rely upon it unless you have to, nor should you be making these guys work anymore than is necessary. You certainly don't bring in a crapmeister like Meyers just to show you are still awake. The left handed hitter that clueless Joe brought him in to face, Granderson, is no big threat under any circumstances--well, except the circumstance of Meyers himself pitching. Called upon, with 2 outs and noone on, to retire a batter who would surely not have hurt Wang, Meyers promptly gives up the gopher ball. That one pitch pretty much summarizes Meyers worth as a hurler, which is considerably less than zero. Having brought him in for no good reason, torre suddenly has every reason to take him out, which meant that meddlesome Joe had to use Proctor and then Farnsworth before Rivera. In other words, by taking out a dominant and untired Wang on what can only be called a whim, Jo-duh wound up wearing down almost his entire playoff bullpen.

Good work, blow Joe. Noone can say you didn't make every effort to cost the Yankees the game! You failed this time but who knows, you may have taken the first step toward costing them the series. We'll have to see what other ingeniously pointless and self-defeating moves you can cook up as the series proceeds. I for one have every faith in you.

Oh, and Bobby Abreu tonight became more of a Yankee than AROD is likely ever to be.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My analysis of Torre's incredibly inexplicable move: for some reason (sentiment?), he put Myers on the postseason roster. But there's really no one on Detroit for him to face, no big lefty who scares you (really, there's only one person in the AL for him to face). So in order to justify his own boneheaded roster decision, Torre has to bring him in to face a lefty. A seemingly safe opportunity to do so arises, and Torre takes it, thereby compounding his roster error with an in-game error seeking to justify his first error. Idiotic.

Other things about this game: Cano looked a little nervous to me at the plate, but I'm sure he'll settle down and when he does, the 9-1-2 wrap-around will be incredible to behold. Damon and Jeter both scored twice in front of Abreu hits, which is exactly how this Yankees team should play.

11:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, I love playoff baseball. I'm still enjoying last night's game and now there's another one in less than 6 hours.

1:24 PM  

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